09/13/09

This is dedicated to all of you hap-hazard car parkers. STOP parking with no concern for any other vehicles. The lines are there for a reason! The lines are also straight for a reason! There are many reasons to get pissed off at you people but mine is when you are dealing with an infant car seat which goes in and out of the car, you often times block the widening of the door making it impossible to get the infant seat out. Having to go in from the other side heaving the car seat over the toddler seat into it's base is not only maddening it is nearly impossible considering the infant with all his weight and impatience is strapped in it. Seriously, "are you kidding me?" Think before you park.

09/07/09

I was feeling fairly good about myself today. It has been 5 1/2 months since I had my second baby boy and my body is close to getting it's original shape back. My arms are decent, my legs and butt are looking quite good, however, my tummy still has a wiggle and a giggle. I tried on a few outfits before I met my parents at the park for some Labor Day fun. Happy with my choice, I felt generally good about my appearance. We had a great picnic, listened to some music, danced and played frisbee. I left the festivities and was busy getting both boys strapped into their car seats when I noticed the family parked in front of me leaving. The mother was a stick! She was wearing little short shorts with a tucked in t-shirt-no bulges, no flab, no muffin top! And the worst part was her baby looked about 3 months old. BITCH! "Are you kidding me!" Some women you just have to hate.

09/06/2009

Even though I am a mother of two I must admit I don't always feel like a mom or act like one, for that matter. I have found myself strolling through Target convincing myself an attractive man is checking me out when my brain quickly reminds me I have a cart full of babies and I am dressed practically in my pajamas with no make-up on and my hair uncombed. I am not being looked at in awe rather in shock.

On days like today when my youngest is on his 6th day of no pooping, I am well aware of my motherhood. The word "poop" has come out of my mouth countless times with ease and lack of any embarrassment. My friends and family are calling to ask if my son has pooped, when people ask how I am, I respond, "my son hasn't pooped in six days." With the advice of my pediatrician we headed to the store to pick up some pear or prune juice and while standing in the isle my baby boy's face turned beet red and a joyous fart unleashed furry into his diaper. In typical mom fashion I leaned close to him with pride and excitement and said ,"you did it!...you did it!" Praying for my newest to poop and training my eldest to poop in the potty, I have to smile and think, "are you kidding me!" When did my days center around poop. I wouldn't have it any other way.

09/05/2009

This is not the first time, but it is the second time my son has pooped in the bathtub. Ugh. The part I find so funny is that he screams to get me to run into the bathroom and acts as if the bathtub somehow shit in the water. He seems to have no clue where it came from. I also love how it was timed perfectly minutes before I was about to feed my 5mo. old baby. So, after getting him out of the tub, scooping out the poop, draining the bath, soaking and cleaning the toys with bleach, rinsing the toys, cleansing the tub, getting my son back in the bath to re-clean him and finally getting both boys upstairs to feed the littlest, all I have to say is, "are you kidding me!" I am tired.

09/04/2009

I think most of my angry "are you kidding me" moments will come from my experiences serving. No shock there from anyone who has worked in a restaurant.

Tonight I served a family who was confused from the beginning. They couldn't order together, pulling teeth would be easier than getting their drink order and they still have me guessing why some of them ordered their burgers with no bun, but still wanted the fries? They do know fries are carbs? Anyway, being a mom myself I have no idea why the mother waited until after I served her son his sandwich to ask if it had come into any contact with flour because he is highly allergic, seriously, "are you kidding me!" To you mothers out there who are as mindless as this one-tell your server about your child's allergies before the food is ordered. Protect your child, help out your server and don't piss off the kitchen! Oh, and save a sandwich!

09/03/2009

I have been in the restaurant business for far too many years. I would like to say to the lady who ordered her Smokehouse Sandwich (beef brisket, roast beef, ham, cheese, onion, mayo and bbq sauce) with no ham, onion, cheese and mayo and then proceeded to flag me down once she bit into her "mastermind creation" claiming, "there is just nothing on it"-c'mon "are you kidding me!"

09/02/2009

I dedicate this blog to the many situations in life that cause me to stop and think, "are you kidding me!"

Today I went to the mall with my two boys. I do this often when my my babies (ages 2 and 5mo.) are naughty and restless. I strap them in my double stroller and cruise around looking (hardly ever buying) at what the stores offer. There are many double strollers on the market; there are double joggers, double strollers side-by-side and double strollers front and back (like a train). Mine is the train type. The stroller makes it easier to get through tight spaces however a little more difficult to push through doors. I always struggle to push my boys past the double mall doors wishing I had go-go-gadget arms and I am dumbfounded when teenage boys, school girls and middle aged parents blaze right by me without a second glance. I can forgive the senior citizens and, of course, the handicapped. BUT, to the rest of you, "are you kidding me!"